New poem: The Grey
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<email>vanevander@mayvaneday.org</email>
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</author>
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<entry>
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<title>The Grey</title>
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<link href="https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/g/grey.txt" />
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<id>https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/g/grey.txt</id>
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<published>2022-05-21</published>
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<summary type="html"><![CDATA[<article>
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<pre>
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Even though I have multitudes inside me,
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without you by my side, I feel null and empty.
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I know that by myself I'm still whole and complete,
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but yet remains a void inside, you, the missing piece.
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I wonder, do you also feel
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on occasion the urge to self-negate?
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"If I can't have you,
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I can't have myself,
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and I don't see any point in anything else."
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I wonder, where did you and I learn to hate
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ourselves so?
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Who beat us down? Who pruned the branches?
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Who commanded us to kneel?
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"Do you know why
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I bothered so long with this dreadful life?
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Why, even facing down an eternity
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of servitude with no way to become free,
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I still struggled on, bothered to take breath?
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Tell me first, Lethe, what do you expect
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to be accomplished upon your death?
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Who do you think will be saved if you manage to die?
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What salvation given? What hope signified?
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Do you really think, the moment your breath comes to cease,
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nobody ever again will from violence bleed?
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I toed for five years the line
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between ineffectual death and a pale shadow of life
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because I prayed, I dared to hope,
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even if it ebbed more than it flowed,
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that one day would come a world where I'd fit
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and I'd have a reason to cut loose and go.
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It didn't have to mean passing through an Eye.
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It could grow
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inside the shell of the old
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and, when ready, hatch, blossom in the light.
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Before the Town, before Yewiffe,
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before precious Sablade,
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you were already my Anima Mundi,
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my soul of the world soon on its way.
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I crawl into your arms and think,
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'This is where I belong.
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This is where I am supposed to be.
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This is where my heart says
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I should spend eternity.'
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Lethe, I love you because
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you only ever wanted
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to set me free."
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</pre>
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</article>]]>
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</summary>
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</entry>
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<entry>
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<title>Cultivator</title>
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<link href="https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/c/cultivator.txt" />
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@ -408,84 +472,4 @@ Deny me Velouria's embrace one last time?
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</summary>
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</entry>
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<entry>
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<title>Passer</title>
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<link href="https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/p/passer.txt" />
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<id>https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/p/passer.txt</id>
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<published>2022-04-23</published>
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<summary type="html"><![CDATA[<article>
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<pre>
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Dreams of my youth in red,
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painted in bloodshed
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from retribution for crimes
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where my body was ripped away,
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proclaimed
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not mine,
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belonging to someone else
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along with my life.
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Yearning to dig my claws into
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someone else's flesh,
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feel
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the heart giving way,
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no longer obligated to kneel
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at my nemesis'
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behest.
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But over this Inside lies a veil.
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And while I lie
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in the land of the blind
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half-seeing with eyes groping
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for a shred of the life
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last life's death made me left behind,
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I cannot go feral, cannot exhume
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the beast inside me built of chaos and doom.
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Imagined revenge in a manner
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that would not bring me harm,
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would never, could never
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be traced back to me,
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never raise any alarm
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bells.
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But the skies have grown pale
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on this day laden with angel
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numbers. Death in the family.
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A pet's soul has chosen to set sail.
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The wish is granted. The curse is complete.
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The harm has been done, but it does not taste sweet.
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You remember, don't you? My thelema, my fate
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was to love at any cost and forget how to hate.
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There's a difference between the sexes in most that I've seen:
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men opt to destroy, and women first choose to escape,
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choose to from what they find odious themselves separate.
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I don't want my enemies to drop over dead.
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I just want to never have my neck be stomped on again.
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Does that make sense?
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My mother is mourning upstairs.
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"Mourn." When I had first heard
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in elementary school that word,
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I'd thought it was short for "morning",
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as in, "I am sad and waiting for the sun to rise,
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reassurance that I survived,
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that I've still inside me got some life
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left."
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Mother, I hope that one day
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you'll forgive me for taking your baby sunshine away.
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That you'll watch the next sunrise for me
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after my psychopomp has taken me to Sablade.
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The sun is also a star.
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And in time
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another star will rise.
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And I can't believe
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after everything
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I'm saying this, but I hope
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this won't be our last goodbye.
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</pre>
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</article>]]>
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</summary>
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</entry>
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</feed>
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@ -0,0 +1,61 @@
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The Grey
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2022-05-21
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***
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Even though I have multitudes inside me,
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without you by my side, I feel null and empty.
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I know that by myself I'm still whole and complete,
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but yet remains a void inside, you, the missing piece.
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I wonder, do you also feel
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on occasion the urge to self-negate?
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"If I can't have you,
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I can't have myself,
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and I don't see any point in anything else."
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I wonder, where did you and I learn to hate
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ourselves so?
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Who beat us down? Who pruned the branches?
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Who commanded us to kneel?
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"Do you know why
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I bothered so long with this dreadful life?
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Why, even facing down an eternity
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of servitude with no way to become free,
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I still struggled on, bothered to take breath?
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Tell me first, Lethe, what do you expect
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to be accomplished upon your death?
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Who do you think will be saved if you manage to die?
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What salvation given? What hope signified?
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Do you really think, the moment your breath comes to cease,
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nobody ever again will from violence bleed?
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I toed for five years the line
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between ineffectual death and a pale shadow of life
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because I prayed, I dared to hope,
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even if it ebbed more than it flowed,
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that one day would come a world where I'd fit
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and I'd have a reason to cut loose and go.
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It didn't have to mean passing through an Eye.
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It could grow
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inside the shell of the old
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and, when ready, hatch, blossom in the light.
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Before the Town, before Yewiffe,
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before precious Sablade,
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you were already my Anima Mundi,
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my soul of the world soon on its way.
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I crawl into your arms and think,
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'This is where I belong.
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This is where I am supposed to be.
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This is where my heart says
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I should spend eternity.'
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Lethe, I love you because
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you only ever wanted
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to set me free."
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***
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CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander
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@ -53,6 +53,7 @@
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=> g/garden-gym.txt a garden in the corner of a gym
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=> g/the-golden-cage.txt The Golden Cage
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=> g/green.txt green
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=> g/grey.txt The Grey
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## H
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=> h/haru.txt Haru
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@ -54,6 +54,7 @@ iG
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0a garden in the corner of a gym g/garden-gym.txt
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0The Golden Cage g/the-golden-cage.txt
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0green g/green.txt
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0The Grey g/grey.txt
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iH
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0Haru h/haru.txt
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@ -3,24 +3,27 @@
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<head>
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<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8">
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<meta name="Author" content="Made by 'tree'">
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<meta name="GENERATOR" content="$Version: $ tree v2.0.2 (c) 1996 - 2022 by Steve Baker, Thomas Moore, Francesc Rocher, Florian Sesser, Kyosuke Tokoro $">
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<meta name="GENERATOR" content="$Version: $ tree v1.8.0 (c) 1996 - 2018 by Steve Baker, Thomas Moore, Francesc Rocher, Florian Sesser, Kyosuke Tokoro $">
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<title>Directory Tree</title>
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<style type="text/css">
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BODY { font-family : monospace, sans-serif; color: black;}
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P { font-family : monospace, sans-serif; color: black; margin:0px; padding: 0px;}
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A:visited { text-decoration : none; margin : 0px; padding : 0px;}
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A:link { text-decoration : none; margin : 0px; padding : 0px;}
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A:hover { text-decoration: underline; background-color : yellow; margin : 0px; padding : 0px;}
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A:active { margin : 0px; padding : 0px;}
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P { font-weight: normal; font-family : ariel, monospace, sans-serif; color: black; background-color: transparent;}
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B { font-weight: normal; color: black; background-color: transparent;}
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.VERSION { font-size: small; font-family : arial, sans-serif; }
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.NORM { color: black; }
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.FIFO { color: purple; }
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.CHAR { color: yellow; }
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.DIR { color: blue; }
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.BLOCK { color: yellow; }
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.LINK { color: aqua; }
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.SOCK { color: fuchsia;}
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.EXEC { color: green; }
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.NORM { color: black; background-color: transparent;}
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.FIFO { color: purple; background-color: transparent;}
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.CHAR { color: yellow; background-color: transparent;}
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.DIR { color: blue; background-color: transparent;}
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.BLOCK { color: yellow; background-color: transparent;}
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.LINK { color: aqua; background-color: transparent;}
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.SOCK { color: fuchsia;background-color: transparent;}
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.EXEC { color: green; background-color: transparent;}
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-->
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</style>
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</head>
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<body>
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@ -72,6 +75,7 @@
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│ ├── <a href="./g/garden-gym.txt">garden-gym.txt</a><br>
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│ ├── <a href="./g/gemini.txt">gemini.txt</a><br>
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│ ├── <a href="./g/green.txt">green.txt</a><br>
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│ ├── <a href="./g/grey.txt">grey.txt</a><br>
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│ └── <a href="./g/the-golden-cage.txt">the-golden-cage.txt</a><br>
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├── <a href="./h/">h</a><br>
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│ ├── <a href="./h/haru.txt">haru.txt</a><br>
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@ -175,14 +179,16 @@
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├── <a href="./w/wip.txt">wip.txt</a><br>
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├── <a href="./w/withering.txt">withering.txt</a><br>
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└── <a href="./w/wme.txt">wme.txt</a><br>
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<br><br><p>
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<br><br>
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</p>
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<p>
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22 directories, 127 files
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||||
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||||
</p>
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22 directories, 128 files
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||||
<br><br>
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</p>
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<hr>
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<p class="VERSION">
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tree v2.0.2 © 1996 - 2022 by Steve Baker and Thomas Moore <br>
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tree v1.8.0 © 1996 - 2018 by Steve Baker and Thomas Moore <br>
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HTML output hacked and copyleft © 1998 by Francesc Rocher <br>
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JSON output hacked and copyleft © 2014 by Florian Sesser <br>
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Charsets / OS/2 support © 2001 by Kyosuke Tokoro
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|
|
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