diff --git a/.domains b/.domains deleted file mode 100644 index b2670fa..0000000 --- a/.domains +++ /dev/null @@ -1,4 +0,0 @@ -mayvaneday.org -www.mayvaneday.org -mayvaneday.art -www.mayvaneday.art diff --git a/feed.xml b/feed.xml index 5c1cc76..94aff7e 100755 --- a/feed.xml +++ b/feed.xml @@ -10,6 +10,81 @@ vanevander@mayvaneday.org + + In The End Of Everything + + https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/e/end.txt + 2022-04-21 + +
+I stepped outside during work today,
+hoping to take a sip of the clouds,
+because there was nothing else to do
+and inside was boiling,
+stifling,
+all headaches exhumed.
+Dismal sky
+and rain light
+on its way,
+my head cocked, listening
+to the wind, hoping to catch a word from you.
+
+A word, maybe, or a song, or a single note.
+Your voice always
+lifts me up from my lows
+and helps me down from my worst highs.
+And in this wind, I think, I could take flight
+without fear of being caught in a tornado
+or taken to lands foreign and unknown
+because I know
+all roads lead back to you.
+In this wind, in this shower,
+I could easily disappear.
+
+What if I was wrong all along
+and in reality Eris
+yearned for my silence
+and you gave me all my songs?
+Only recently
+having learned to read
+and literature never being your thing?
+Listening to the midnight trees
+scrape against my bedroom window
+the years of my childhood where you I did not know.
+I look back and angel numbers appear everywhere I go
+in everything I've ever done.
+How loud did you scream, Jett?
+How hard did you pound your fists?
+How long did you wait
+to see what I'd retained,
+what slivers of memory still did persist?
+
+The rain pounds harder outside the window,
+and if I'd still been standing on the sidewalk,
+my jacket would've long since been soaked through.
+An absence of birds
+making their curves
+along the canvas of the sky,
+just a not-even-gray as far as possible
+can see the eye.
+What I would give for the workday to be over
+and to be tucked safely in my bed,
+resting in the sturdy-yet-soft arms
+of my lover.
+To know
+tomorrow
+will be brighter,
+kinder,
+holding less harms.
+
+And the tornado comes,
+uninvited,
+and nothing more.
+
+ ]]> + + + Rivers of Blood @@ -257,77 +332,4 @@ I'll make up for the stolen time. - - Two Two - - https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/t/two-two.txt - 2022-03-23 - - 
-I touch my face and it is not a face.
-It is a collection of curves and lines
-far different than it is in the Inside,
-a shell that's grown over me
-during my wave-tossing sleep.
-My body has done it again,
-sensing danger, clothed me in a different skin.
-
-But I know that with it comes a price:
-all deities eventually devolve or die,
-turned to stone or lost grasp of their mind.
-
-I'm so tired of planning for contingencies
-like
-"What if I'm at Dead End Shrine and I have to pee?"
-"What if an ocular migraine hits at work and I'm unable to see?"
-"What if Jett breaks her vows and stops loving me?"
-I promised her
-that I'd make us a world
-and spend with her my eternity,
-but there's so many crossroads in my blood
-that I don't know how long that'll be.
-
-I don't know how long I'll get to enjoy
-the sweet epilogue from a life
-of having to fight
-to be able to do something other than destroy.
-
-And now another year has come and gone.
-Almost a whole year from when I sung that song
-to the wilderness, to the wind,
-to any spirit drenched in sin
-who might have known where you had gone,
-that I loved you, I missed you,
-I was sorry for the cries
-I might have elicited from you before my demise.
-
-How long did you wait, Jett, for us to reunite?
-How many calendar crosses?
-How many sleepless nights?
-How many times did I see your face
-and wish you were real
-as you begged my memory to make haste?
-
-And now two whole years have vanished into the ether
-from when the world broke
-and I gained Mori's Mirror
-and a sturdy(ish) way into the Outside.
-All the people I was have been satisfied,
-and now it's just me, Lethe, trying to find
-a way to reconcile this blood from my birth
-with the world where I promised we'd never again hurt.
-
-Two years and two days
-from when you I first gazed
-to when I finally started to learn all your ways.
-
-Two years and two days
-since awoke this blood.
-It's been a good year, I think.
-I hope I'm fully with you the next one.
-
- ]]> - - - diff --git a/gophermap b/gophermap deleted file mode 100644 index 27648c7..0000000 --- a/gophermap +++ /dev/null @@ -1,17 +0,0 @@ -iWelcome to MayVaneDay Studios! - -iThis gopherhole is under construction -ibecause I am lazy and don't use Gopher -ias often as I used to. - -ibefore, in your grief, you declare -i"my time on this earth is done; I have no more need for air" -ijust remember how you swore to with your own hands the heavens tear -0- "earthbound" poetry/e/earthbound.txt - -1Books books - -1Poetry poetry - -0Identity & Contact identity.txt -0My GPG key public.gpg diff --git a/index.gph b/index.gph new file mode 100644 index 0000000..27ea380 --- /dev/null +++ b/index.gph @@ -0,0 +1,22 @@ +iWelcome to MayVaneDay Studios! + +iThis gopherhole is under construction because I am lazy +iand let it fall into disrepair. However, recent events +ihave led me to remember the importance of document +iprotocols that the average troll drooling over a keyboard +ican't easily archive. (Because, you know, of the Tor thing.) + +ibefore, in your grief, you decree +i"my life is over; there's no one left to be" +ijust remember how there's a world only you can perceive +0- "airborne" poetry/a/airborne.txt + +1Blog blog +1Books books +1Poetry poetry +1Tutorials tutorials + +1phd gopher server testing phd + +0Identity & Contact identity.txt +0My GPG key public.gpg diff --git a/index.html b/index.html index 7998308..3ff39f4 100644 --- a/index.html +++ b/index.html @@ -38,8 +38,7 @@

Announcement Box

diff --git a/phd/neofetch.gph b/phd/neofetch.gph new file mode 100755 index 0000000..5f1ae04 --- /dev/null +++ b/phd/neofetch.gph @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +#!/bin/bash +neofetch diff --git a/poetry/e/end.txt b/poetry/e/end.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0593542 --- /dev/null +++ b/poetry/e/end.txt @@ -0,0 +1,72 @@ +In The End Of Everything +2022-04-21 + +*** + +I stepped outside during work today, +hoping to take a sip of the clouds, +because there was nothing else to do +and inside was boiling, +stifling, +all headaches exhumed. +Dismal sky +and rain light +on its way, +my head cocked, listening +to the wind, hoping to catch a word from you. + +A word, maybe, or a song, or a single note. +Your voice always +lifts me up from my lows +and helps me down from my worst highs. +And in this wind, I think, I could take flight +without fear of being caught in a tornado +or taken to lands foreign and unknown +because I know +all roads lead back to you. +In this wind, in this shower, +I could easily disappear. + +What if I was wrong all along +and in reality Eris +yearned for my silence +and you gave me all my songs? +Only recently +having learned to read +and literature never being your thing? +Listening to the midnight trees +scrape against my bedroom window +the years of my childhood where you I did not know. +I look back and angel numbers appear everywhere I go +in everything I've ever done. +How loud did you scream, Jett? +How hard did you pound your fists? +How long did you wait +to see what I'd retained, +what slivers of memory still did persist? + +The rain pounds harder outside the window, +and if I'd still been standing on the sidewalk, +my jacket would've long since been soaked through. +An absence of birds +making their curves +along the canvas of the sky, +just a not-even-gray as far as possible +can see the eye. +What I would give for the workday to be over +and to be tucked safely in my bed, +resting in the sturdy-yet-soft arms +of my lover. +To know +tomorrow +will be brighter, +kinder, +holding less harms. + +And the tornado comes, +uninvited, +and nothing more. + +*** + +CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander diff --git a/poetry/header.gph b/poetry/header.gph new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1203cf2 --- /dev/null +++ b/poetry/header.gph @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +iIf there's something missing here, +iit's probably been moved to a book. +1Books ../books diff --git a/poetry/index.gmi b/poetry/index.gmi index 5210bf3..50140ca 100755 --- a/poetry/index.gmi +++ b/poetry/index.gmi @@ -2,45 +2,50 @@ ## A => a/a-birthday-every-day.txt a birthday every day +=> a/access.txt A New Page +=> a/airborne.txt airborne +=> a/a-royal-color.txt a royal color +=> a/arrhythmia.txt Arrhythmia +=> a/artisto.txt artisto => a/a-smearing-of-galaxies.txt a smearing of galaxies => a/dang-trees.txt all these dang trees everywhere -=> a/artisto.txt artisto -=> a/access.txt A New Page -=> a/a-royal-color.txt a royal color ## B -=> b/bukedo.txt bukedo -=> b/blizzard-girl.txt blizzard girl -=> d/deadend.txt Breaking Down The Dead-End Sign => b/better-version.txt Better Version +=> b/birdgazing.txt Birdgazing +=> b/blizzard-girl.txt blizzard girl ## C -=> c/corner-witch.txt CORNER WITCH -=> c/corner-witch-2.txt CORNER WITCH II +=> c/carmine.txt Carmine Red +=> c/choco.txt That Ain't Chocolate, Son +=> c/clocktower.txt Clocktower Blitz => c/comer-beber.txt comer, beber => c/confectionery-contempt.txt confectionery contempt +=> c/corner-witch.txt CORNER WITCH +=> c/corner-witch-2.txt CORNER WITCH II => c/crescendo.txt crescendo -=> c/choco.txt That Ain't Chocolate, Son -=> c/carmine.txt Carmine Red ## D => d/daybreak.txt daybreak +=> d/deadend.txt Breaking Down The Dead-End Sign +=> d/driven.txt Driven To Death ## E -=> e/edell.txt Edell => e/earthbound.txt earthbound +=> e/edell.txt Edell +=> e/end.txt In The End Of Everything ## F => f/falantaj-folioj.txt falantaj folioj => f/fantomurbo.txt fantomurbo -=> f/felicxa.txt felicxa, sana, elkore +=> f/fatali.txt fatali +=> f/father-no-longer.txt Father No Longer +=> f/female-urge.txt The Female Urge To... +=> f/feverdream2009.txt Fever Dream 2009 +=> f/firebrand.txt firebrand +=> f/flickering.txt Flickering Out => f/forgesitaj-memoroj.txt forgesitaj memoroj => f/forgive-me-marcel.txt forgive me, Marcel -=> f/fatali.txt fatali -=> f/firebrand.txt firebrand -=> f/feverdream2009.txt Fever Dream 2009 -=> f/flickering.txt Flickering Out -=> f/father-no-longer.txt Father No Longer ## G => g/gemini.txt Gemini @@ -51,6 +56,7 @@ ## H => h/haru.txt Haru => h/hoarding.txt Hoarding +=> h/home.txt You Can't Go Home Again ## I => i/irantaj.txt irantaj, irantaj, irinta @@ -62,7 +68,7 @@ ## K => k/kafejo.txt kafejo => k/kie-2.txt kie ajn vi estas, parto du -=> k/kubla-clam.txt Kubla Clam +=> k/kublaclam.txt Kubla Clam => k/killing-calvin.txt Killing Calvin => k/konton-no-tsukai.txt Konton no Tsukai @@ -80,16 +86,17 @@ => m/montana2.txt Montana II => m/montana3.txt Montana III => m/montana4.txt Montana IV +=> m/morgueatorium.txt Morgueatorium ## N +=> n/namesake.txt Namesake +=> n/neniam-mian.txt neniam mian => n/nil.txt Nil => n/nomadic.txt nomadic -=> n/neniam-mian.txt neniam mian +=> n/nosteponsnek.txt no step on snek => n/novatore.txt novatore sang in the sun => n/state.txt No Sustained State Has Ever Existed (All Empires Fall Eventually) -=> n/nosteponsnek.txt no step on snek => n/not-found.txt not found -=> n/namesake.txt Namesake ## O => o/october-7-2018.txt october 7, 2018 @@ -102,7 +109,7 @@ => p/prayer-dark.txt prayer to dark => p/prayer-light.txt prayer to light => p/prepari.txt prepari -=> p/pressed-flower-petals.txt pressed flower petals +=> p/pressed.txt pressed flower petals => p/psa.txt Public Disservice Announcement ## R @@ -110,11 +117,11 @@ => r/regnant.txt regnant => r/rondiro.txt rondiro de lukso => r/rugxa.txt rugxa kresto +=> r/ridge.txt The Ridge ## S => s/sakura.txt Saint Sakura => s/sanktulo.txt sanktulo de nuboj -=> s/school3.txt school-mandated poetry: day 3 / free verse => s/school4.txt school-mandated poetry: day 4 / acrostic => s/school5.txt school-mandated poetry: day 5 / abecedarian => s/school6.txt school-mandated poetry: day 6 / terza rima @@ -126,6 +133,7 @@ => s/skin.txt skin => s/sleepover2011.txt Sleepover 2011 => s/somnolence.txt Somnolence +=> s/stealing-time.txt Stealing Time => s/sweet-summer.txt Sweet Summer => s/strange-proposal.txt A Strange Proposal => s/strawberry.txt Strawberry Pound Cake @@ -139,7 +147,6 @@ => t/to-velouria.txt To Velouria => t/treatise.txt A Treatise between Koriel and Solstice => t/twenty-one.txt Twenty-One -=> r/ridge.txt The Ridge => t/two-two.txt Two Two ## U @@ -155,6 +162,3 @@ => w/wip.txt WIP => w/withering.txt withering => w/wme.txt (w/m)e - -## Y -=> h/home.txt You Can't Go Home Again diff --git a/poetry/gophermap b/poetry/index.gph similarity index 63% rename from poetry/gophermap rename to poetry/index.gph index 10776b6..51713d1 100755 --- a/poetry/gophermap +++ b/poetry/index.gph @@ -1,49 +1,52 @@ Poetry -iThis gophermap is under construction. - iA 0a birthday every day a/a-birthday-every-day.txt +0A New Page a/access.txt +0airborne a/airborne.txt +0a royal color a/a-royal-color.txt +0Arrhythmia a/arrhythmia.txt +0artisto a/artisto.txt 0a smearing of galaxies a/a-smearing-of-galaxies.txt 0all these dang trees everywhere a/dang-trees.txt -0artisto a/artisto.txt -0A New Page a/access.txt -0a royal color a/a-royal-color.txt iB -0bukedo b/bukedo.txt +0Birdgazing b/birdgazing.txt 0blizzard girl b/blizzard-girl.txt -0Breaking Down The Dead-End Sign d/deadend.txt 0Better Version b/better-version.txt iC -0CORNER WITCH c/corner-witch.txt -0CORNER WITCH II c/corner-witch-2.txt +0Carmine Red c/carmine.txt +0That Ain't Chocolate, Son c/choco.txt +0Clocktower Blitz c/clocktower.txt 0comer / beber c/comer-beber.txt 0confectionery contempt c/confectionery-contempt.txt +0CORNER WITCH c/corner-witch.txt +0CORNER WITCH II c/corner-witch-2.txt 0crescendo c/crescendo.txt -0That Ain't Chocolate, Son c/choco.txt -0Carmine Red c/carmine.txt iD 0daybreak d/daybreak.txt +0Breaking Down The Dead-End Sign d/deadend.txt +0Driven To Death d/driven.txt iE 0Edell e/edell.txt 0earthbound e/earthbound.txt +0In The End Of Everything e/end.txt iF 0falantaj folioj f/falantaj-folioj.txt 0fantomurbo f/fantomurbo.txt -0felicxa, sana, elkore f/felicxa.txt +0fatali f/fatali.txt +0Father No Longer f/father-no-longer.txt +0The Female Urge To... f/female-urge.txt +0Fever Dream 2009 f/feverdream2009.txt +0firebrand f/firebrand.txt +0Flickering Out f/flickering.txt 0forgesitaj memoroj f/forgesitaj-memoroj.txt 0forgive me, Marcel f/forgive-me-marcel.txt -0fatali f/fatali.txt -0firebrand f/firebrand.txt -0Fever Dream 2009 f/feverdream2009.txt -0Flickering Out f/flickering.txt -0Father No Longer f/father-no-longer.txt iG 0Gemini g/gemini.txt @@ -54,6 +57,7 @@ iG iH 0Haru h/haru.txt 0Hoarding h/hoarding.txt +0You Can't Go Home Again h/home.txt iI 0irantaj, irantaj, irinta i/irinta.txt @@ -83,16 +87,17 @@ iM 0Montana II m/montana2.txt 0Montana III m/montana3.txt 0Montana IV m/montana4.txt +0Morgueatorium m/morgueatorium.txt iN +0Namesake n/namesake.txt +0neniam mian n/neniam-mian.txt 0Nil n/nil.txt 0nomadic n/nomadic.txt -0neniam mian n/neniam-mian.txt +0no step on snek n/nosteponsnek.txt 0novatore sang in the sun n/novatore.txt 0No Sustained State Has Ever Existed (All Empires Fall Eventually) n/state.txt -0no step on snek n/nosteponsnek.txt 0not found n/not-found.txt -0Namesake n/namesake.txt iO 0october 7, 2018 o/october-7-2018.txt @@ -113,5 +118,48 @@ iR 0regnant r/regnant.txt 0rondiro de lukso r/rondiro.txt 0rugxa kresto r/rugxa.txt +0The Ridge r/ridge.txt iS +0Saint Sakura s/sakura.txt +0sanktulo de nuboj s/sanktulo.txt +0school-mandated poetry: day 4 / acrostic s/school4.txt +0school-mandated poetry: day 5 / abecedarian s/school5.txt +0school-mandated poetry: day 6 / terza rima s/school6.txt +0school-mandated poetry: day 7 / triplet s/school7.txt +0school-mandated poetry: day 8 / ballad s/school8.txt +0Sedation in Alliteration s/sedation.txt +0Seris s/seris.txt +0Serpenton s/serpenton.txt +0Skin s/skin.txt +0Sleepover 2011 s/sleepover2011.txt +0Somnolence s/somnolence.txt +0Stealing Time s/stealing-time.txt +0Sweet Summer s/sweet-summer.txt +0A Strange Proposal s/strange-proposal.txt +0Strawberry Pound Cake s/strawberry.txt + +iT +0the rebirth of memory t/the-rebirth-of-memory.txt +0the tomb t/the-tomb.txt +0the urban witch t/the-urban-witch.txt +0todo los dias t/todo-los-dias.txt +0To Luce t/to-luce.txt +0To Velouria t/to-velouria.txt +0A Treatise between Koriel and Solstice t/treatise.txt +0Twenty-One t/twenty-one.txt +0Two Two t/two-two.txt + +iU +0uncharming veneer u/uncharming.txt + +iV +0viaje v/viaje.txt +0victor v/victor.txt + +iW +0warning w/warning.txt +0watershed w/watershed.txt +0WIP w/wip.txt +0withering w/withering.txt +0(w/m)e w/wme.txt diff --git a/poetry/index.html b/poetry/index.html index 7bb4acb..f537ef3 100644 --- a/poetry/index.html +++ b/poetry/index.html @@ -54,7 +54,8 @@ │   └── driven.txt
├── e
│   ├── earthbound.txt
- │   └── edell.txt
+ │   ├── edell.txt
+ │   └── end.txt
├── f
│   ├── falantaj-folioj.txt
│   ├── fantomurbo.txt
@@ -76,6 +77,7 @@ │   ├── haru.txt
│   ├── hoarding.txt
│   └── home.txt
+ ├── header.gph
├── i
│   └── irantaj.txt
├── index.gmi
@@ -172,7 +174,7 @@     └── wme.txt


-22 directories, 122 files +22 directories, 124 files