+Cold summer. A cold heart +beats in my chest +as I from my house depart, +legs stiff, left arm +aching. + +Father spoke, "You are going to kill this tree." +It slipped +from his lips +like a prophecy. +Dogs outside my bedroom window gnawing +on the Velouria Bush, Nidhogg, +portent of the Eschaton. +Too short, too squat, +too weakened from the bark not +there anymore +to hang myself from branch's ledge +in hopes of gaining the knowledge +to see this world through to its bitter end. + +I kneel before the now-fenced-in stump +and reach forward. My limbs falter. +A bramble or some other thorn from Dead End Shrine +draws a gash through my skin, nature's penknife. +Rivulets of blood stream +down without recognition of pain, +carmine trickles, a river, a flood, +guided by the soft-falling rain +before the altar. + +And I pray, + +let us reconcile before closes this day. +Dead-End King, +lead me to victimless iniquity. +Lead me to damnation +without hurting a single being +undeserving. ++ ]]> +
-I wish it had been a bridal night -instead of a boring nosebleed, -standing over my great-grandma's sink -at three in the morning. -That it had been you taking my breath away -and not clots in my nostrils, down the drain -as if the rivers sent to confirm -I would not give birth -that cycle had gotten lost. - -The shed blood and tears, -the countless years -spent in breathless wait -in order to be there -on that belated -celebrated -day. -You in a dress in my favorite hue -and mine you had yourself made. -To finally see the love I could not hide -within my body reflected in your eyes -without fear of a glamour or being a disguise. - -You've been so patient with me all my life, -and it's a damn miracle that you still insist -on spending the rest of yours at my side. -But this is how it's supposed to go, right? -You're supposed to marry your best friend, -who knows you like they know themselves, -who will tolerate you at worst until the bitter end. - -And I, -I must confide, -can think of no one else I'd -rather spend my life -with. -- ]]> -
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